Before you do all that complicated stuff you plan to do, I think you deserve to be a human being first.
You see, I didn't get to be a human being before doing complicated stuff:
Why? You ask yourself?
Ask my Psychologist(s), they will give the mythological “because of your childhood” answer.
And they are probably right.
But that's not what I'm here to talk to you about, Nowadays I'm more into the “What” and “How” then the “Why”?
Because I found out through the years that everytime after you find out why something happened to you, you then think: “OK, WHAT am I going to change?, and HOW am I going to change it?
Finding out the why only brings you momentary pleasure and satisfaction, so I just skip it.
So after finding out I am an annoying little piece of – kid (around when I was 12 or 13) I decided to change!
I didn't do anything to change at first, I just felt the desire to change, and that already changed a lot – a new friend I met at the time sensed my desire to change, and gave me that weird book “the secret”,
Fuck that book, Im not here to market it and I think it leads many people a bit astray.
But that book was the beginning of a journey, a journey to discover the What and the How to change.
So I read more and more books and it came to me finally one day, that all the times we are frustrated in our lives, is when our reality does not correlate with the real reality.
Here I explain:
There is the real world, you know it its all around me and you, what you see hear feel touch smell all that stuff, and there is what you think and feel about all that real world.
And many times in our life what we think of the real world, does not correlate with what the world actually is, and that is where we suffer.
You see, people where frustrated about shit from the beginning of time, and some of these frustrated people turned out to solve their frustrations, and some of these frustration solving people wrote books about it.
So the more books I read the less and less frustrated I became.
Well at first it actually made me more frustrated because there was so much that I was doing and thinking wrong, so many bad habits to change, but with a bit of time and a lot of practice I managed to squeeze out bad habits and squeeze in good ones, and after a while, everything became clear to me.
And it still becomes clearer everyday.
There is so much that we know about the world and about ourselves and others that is not true, we are misguided by our thoughts feelings and habits so much.
And yes it is probably mostly affected by our childhood and things that happened to us even before we talked.
Some people actually are born into a very nice situation and they “just get it” right from the beginning, they are popular and can read other people and sometimes even understand themselves pretty good.
Most of us are not, and this is what I meant in the beginning about deserving to be human beings before all that complicated things we are taught how to do, think about school.
They never teach you at school what “Body Language” is, they never talk about feelings, smells, sensations, they just teach you how to use your logical brain, and yes it is a part of being human but more basic are feelings and how you move.
If only they taught at school to look at other people and what it means when someone is looking in your eyes, what it means when someone crosses their hands, when someone shakes your hand.
If only they would have taught us how to listen, not just to words but to the tone of voice too.
If only they would teach us how to taste things and know what every taste means, and I don't mean if it's sweet or sour, what about what is it actually you are eating? What is it made of? What does it do to your body?
Imagine we would finish school around the age of 12 and would already know how to use our bodies, how to read other people's body language and how to articulate our ideas and present them (not just orally!) but with our bodies and voice as well….
That's what I call basics in being a human being.